313 MERCHANDISE

Holy Shit! Republican President candidate John McCain caught with his spoon in hand! Not a Coca Cola classic but a “Cocaine Classic”. Old John McCain comes nicely printed on various colors and just in time to “do a bump” for the election. Shirts come in 1 Gram and many 8 Ball Sizes. We have just enough of these stashed to make Pablo Escobar jealous. But John’s dealing them out by the spoonfull so you better snort one up now before they are all gone!

Hot off the 313 press comes our latest Barack Obama T-Shirt and just in time for the 2008 Election! Gangsta’s Paradise Obama T-Shirt spoof a rap song by Coolio from the movie Dangerous Minds (1995), and Democrat President elect Barack Obama. Nicely sublimated on all “Cool T-Shirt” colors and styles from 313 Merchandise. Offensive or Not? you decide…

Hey hey hey… its Prince Albert! We here at 313 Merch have just spotted the artist formerly known as Fat Albert, last seen in a Vegas night club doing his one man tribute to Prince! Our artists were out and caught the show and as a result we have Prince Albert in all his glory on our line of t-shirts. Prince Albert is nicely sublimated on all styles and sizes.

Many small business’s sell their items online today only through an e-commerce shopping cart online store. Here at 313 Merchandise we still offer our customers a choice of buying through the mail from our PO Box. instead of using a credit card online. Well after 2 years of snail mail we finally snagged our first Foreign Check Fraud customer. I do believe we did have some nim-rod last year from Wash. DC try a personal check which balanced immediately, but our most recent purchase was made from:

Suzanne Lovell
30 Marvin Street
Nova Scotia, Canada
b2y2ml

Well after constant emails from Suzanne demanding we send their items immediately we explained that we was away from our PO Box and held on to the check for sometime awaiting its clearance in our account. The US/Canadian money exchange rate was applied to the check after 11 days and we proceeded to ship the $350 order. But immediately after confirming tracking with Susan or the alias the check balanced. Now this was brought to our attention by our bank and we immediately recalled our package back from USPS before its departure out of the country. Our t-shirts our now back in our hands and a picture has been sent to Suzanne at littlelady29@hotmail.com and a nice Big Fuck You Thief!

313 Merchandise has been busy with our new line of “Election 2008 Funny T-Shirts”. Our latest designs include a spoof on KFC and Hilary “Kuntucky Fried Clinton”, Obama Your Mama, Bitchs Ain’t Shit (a spoof on N.W.A. classic ho masterpiece), Obama Llama and B.A. Barackus (our parody of Mr. T’s A-Team character and Barack Obama)!! Browse a few designs below and pick your candidate.

From the Twisted minds here at 313 Merch and Art by Sly of slyartwork.com comes our latest t-shirt for 2008. It’s Britney Bitch nicely spoofed from Iron Maiden’s Piece of Mind art. Move over Eddie here comes Britney in a padded cell next to you. She is available on all styles and sizes.

313 Merchandise presents our latest designs for 2008! Obama your mama! and Skunk Bud-Ler. All available on all styles and sizes.

9-11 has reared its ugly head in our Memories. After 6 years Osama Bin Laden has not been captured or found? How can this desert dwelling fugitive remain free from the US forces? We have every weapon and spy device known to man at our finger tips and still Osama remains elusive! Well the secret has now been revealed. Osama has spliced his DNA with a Llama and is now living on a Llama farm outside of Afghanistan. We shot a quick picture of Osama and sent it to our Artists here at 313 merch. The result is our latest t-shirt. Osama Bin Llama! Comes in all styles and sizes but we must admit  Osama Bin Llama looks his best on a “Native Desert Sand” color ACU moisture wicking t-shirt. Pick one up today!
 

Hey Mother fuckers, think your funny huh? i autta come down there and rip your fucking eyes out ur so pathetic to pic on overly emotional people, do u even realize that more then 15% of the ‘emos’ that read this are probly gunna comit fucking suicide because of this shit, they aughta fuckin slice u up u pathetic peices of shit How in hellz name that u havent been shut down yet is beyond me, and if i could I would fuckin take out a gun and listen to u beg for mother fucking mercy then id blow your fucking brains out, here me!?! Fuck U guys u arent even worth my time

The latest from 313 Merch “Go Suck a Bag of Dicks!” comes in all sizes and styles just in for the summer season. These are a fucking hit! Grab a few today while their HOT!